Post by Harkovast on Dec 22, 2014 21:29:17 GMT
I hate Adam Sandler.
Mrs Vast also hates him.
I was never very keen on him in the first place.
All his movies are basically the same.
Adam Sandler plays a man child who speaks in a silly voice.
And that's it.
But now...now this fucker has crossed the line.
This dirty son of a bitch whore from hell has finally crossed the line.
He made Billy Madison.
And then I watched it.
Actually I didn't watch all of it.
Yes, thats right, a movie was so irritating I changed channel.
Yeah, this is me! This is Hark!
The guy who fucking thrives on bad movies.
But Adam Sandler has managed to make a movie even I cant get through.
The plot is that Adam Sandler is a slacker who talks in a silly voice.
In order to inherit a hotel chain he has to go back to school to complete his education, working his way through all the grades until he graduates.
This is a shit plot that could only result in a lame and annoying comedy that will be quickly forgotten.
When it came on TV I didn't mind leaving it on, it was clearly just some harmless pap. Maybe it would raise the odd chuckle....
This movie is evil.
And I don't mean evil like its just bad.
It IS bad, dont get me wrong about that! Half the time I was struggling to tell if Adam Sandler was pretending to be special needs or not. I was honestly not sure. Eventually I came to the conclusion he wasn't, but it is no exaggeration to say that his performance is so ridiculous you could interpret the film that way.
Oh yes, this is unfunny pap of the lowest order, but that doesn't make it evil.
This movie is void of all morals.
Let me give you an example of the kind of shit Sandler is shoveling here.
In one scene Sandlers character is in the class when a child is reading. Sandler laughs loudly that the kid is stupid because he cant read.
The teacher (a hot young blond chick) takes him outside and scoulds him for his behaviour. He acts unconcerned, responding to her in a wierd baby talk voice (he does this a lot in the film...hence my confusion as to whether he is meant to have learning problems.) As she goes back inside he starts saying wierd stuff to himself about "so hot, want to touch the hiney."
At some point I assume this was supposed to have been funny...
BUT I'M NOT DONE!
Shortly after the class go on a field trip, on which a boy dares the main character to touch the teachers boob.
Bill acts as if this is an offensive idea, saying it would be assault.
He then grins and says he will do it if he is double dared.
So then he goes up the bus, pretend to stumble, and grabs at the woman's boobs.
Erm....you were right first time Billy. That isn't funny hijinx....that's sexual assault.
The teacher reveals that she over heard him being double dared...but seems unconcerned and just sends him back to his seat.
At the field trip one of the children pees his pants so in order to stop the other kids laughing at him, Billy pisses himself and tells the kids all cool grown ups do that.
This is treated as a good thing...it is also treated as funny. It manages nether.
Billy talks to the teacher. He apologises for that whole groping her without consent thing and she says its no big deal and "hes not the first person to try and grab her boobs"
What....the....?
Is she saying she gets molested a lot? Who is molesting her? Why is she okay with this? What is happening? ARGH!
Now at this point, you should have figured out, this dumb teacher chick is the love interest.
After the field trip she seems to fall for Billy's charms and wants to sleep with him.
The transition is as sudden as it sounds.
He continues to talk to her in the annoying baby voice while discussing wanting to do stuff with ice cubes to her.
Am I meant to think she is a pedophile? Or into fucking people with down syndrome?
A guy who laughs at children trying to read, gropes women, talks like a fucking moron and cant think of a better way to reassure kids than fucking pissing himself....and she wants to sleep with him.
Adam Sandler is an asshole.
I think he should go play in traffic and do the world a favour.
Think that was a bit harsh?
Well don't blame me, I was using one of the witty zingers this movie taught me. Billy's passes a note around class. The head teacher gets the note and reads it out and it talks about how Billy thinks the principle sound play in traffic because he is fat.
We are meant to sympathise with Billy in this scene. He is meant to seem lovable as he thumbs his nose as authority...but he just seems like the guy who plays him, an asshole who likes to bully others.
He yells at and bullies the kids all the time, and with the exception of the one chastisement from the teacher (who proceeds to want to fuck him a few days later) it is treated as funny and lovable.
So I say again to Mr Sandler-
You should go play in traffic.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
This movie is DREADFUL in every sense.
Its stupid, lazy, sexist, ugly, unpleasant and intensely unfunny.
There is no wit, no class and no point.
Seriously, I didn't think this idiot could do worse than Little Nicky. Hell I didn't think the human race could do worse than that film!
Mind you, I thought the same thing with Mr Deeds....
Why is this guy still making movies again?
I might not really want him to play in traffic, but I seriously want him to just retire.
Mrs Vast also hates him.
I was never very keen on him in the first place.
All his movies are basically the same.
Adam Sandler plays a man child who speaks in a silly voice.
And that's it.
But now...now this fucker has crossed the line.
This dirty son of a bitch whore from hell has finally crossed the line.
He made Billy Madison.
And then I watched it.
Actually I didn't watch all of it.
Yes, thats right, a movie was so irritating I changed channel.
Yeah, this is me! This is Hark!
The guy who fucking thrives on bad movies.
But Adam Sandler has managed to make a movie even I cant get through.
The plot is that Adam Sandler is a slacker who talks in a silly voice.
In order to inherit a hotel chain he has to go back to school to complete his education, working his way through all the grades until he graduates.
This is a shit plot that could only result in a lame and annoying comedy that will be quickly forgotten.
When it came on TV I didn't mind leaving it on, it was clearly just some harmless pap. Maybe it would raise the odd chuckle....
This movie is evil.
And I don't mean evil like its just bad.
It IS bad, dont get me wrong about that! Half the time I was struggling to tell if Adam Sandler was pretending to be special needs or not. I was honestly not sure. Eventually I came to the conclusion he wasn't, but it is no exaggeration to say that his performance is so ridiculous you could interpret the film that way.
Oh yes, this is unfunny pap of the lowest order, but that doesn't make it evil.
This movie is void of all morals.
Let me give you an example of the kind of shit Sandler is shoveling here.
In one scene Sandlers character is in the class when a child is reading. Sandler laughs loudly that the kid is stupid because he cant read.
The teacher (a hot young blond chick) takes him outside and scoulds him for his behaviour. He acts unconcerned, responding to her in a wierd baby talk voice (he does this a lot in the film...hence my confusion as to whether he is meant to have learning problems.) As she goes back inside he starts saying wierd stuff to himself about "so hot, want to touch the hiney."
At some point I assume this was supposed to have been funny...
BUT I'M NOT DONE!
Shortly after the class go on a field trip, on which a boy dares the main character to touch the teachers boob.
Bill acts as if this is an offensive idea, saying it would be assault.
He then grins and says he will do it if he is double dared.
So then he goes up the bus, pretend to stumble, and grabs at the woman's boobs.
Erm....you were right first time Billy. That isn't funny hijinx....that's sexual assault.
The teacher reveals that she over heard him being double dared...but seems unconcerned and just sends him back to his seat.
At the field trip one of the children pees his pants so in order to stop the other kids laughing at him, Billy pisses himself and tells the kids all cool grown ups do that.
This is treated as a good thing...it is also treated as funny. It manages nether.
Billy talks to the teacher. He apologises for that whole groping her without consent thing and she says its no big deal and "hes not the first person to try and grab her boobs"
What....the....?
Is she saying she gets molested a lot? Who is molesting her? Why is she okay with this? What is happening? ARGH!
Now at this point, you should have figured out, this dumb teacher chick is the love interest.
After the field trip she seems to fall for Billy's charms and wants to sleep with him.
The transition is as sudden as it sounds.
He continues to talk to her in the annoying baby voice while discussing wanting to do stuff with ice cubes to her.
Am I meant to think she is a pedophile? Or into fucking people with down syndrome?
A guy who laughs at children trying to read, gropes women, talks like a fucking moron and cant think of a better way to reassure kids than fucking pissing himself....and she wants to sleep with him.
Adam Sandler is an asshole.
I think he should go play in traffic and do the world a favour.
Think that was a bit harsh?
Well don't blame me, I was using one of the witty zingers this movie taught me. Billy's passes a note around class. The head teacher gets the note and reads it out and it talks about how Billy thinks the principle sound play in traffic because he is fat.
We are meant to sympathise with Billy in this scene. He is meant to seem lovable as he thumbs his nose as authority...but he just seems like the guy who plays him, an asshole who likes to bully others.
He yells at and bullies the kids all the time, and with the exception of the one chastisement from the teacher (who proceeds to want to fuck him a few days later) it is treated as funny and lovable.
So I say again to Mr Sandler-
You should go play in traffic.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
This movie is DREADFUL in every sense.
Its stupid, lazy, sexist, ugly, unpleasant and intensely unfunny.
There is no wit, no class and no point.
Seriously, I didn't think this idiot could do worse than Little Nicky. Hell I didn't think the human race could do worse than that film!
Mind you, I thought the same thing with Mr Deeds....
Why is this guy still making movies again?
I might not really want him to play in traffic, but I seriously want him to just retire.