|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 18:57:19 GMT
Canuovea yeah if only they had kept going with Rose Tico giving lectures, Hux embarrassing himself and weird awkward humour the franchise could be saved. Or maybe this thing is a mess either way.
Actively back pedalling everything in the Last Jedi is pretty embarassing, but the film didn't really leave them anywhere to go. Last Jedi deliberately stops all the mysteries and questions and doens't set anything new up. The ending they just fly away and the bad guys stop chasing them (I guess they got bored of using the tracker they have on every ship?) Finding Luke has been resolved and went no where. Reys parents was resolved and went no where. Who is Snoke was resolved and went no where.
Last Jedi doesn't set up anything for a sequel to work with.
The sequal hook at the end is that a slave kid with a broom actually has the force. What can you do with that? Even if I had enjoyed the Last Jedi (I could have been drunk, for example) it doesn't offer any options for a sequel beyond "Fight the first order more." And the first order have already been established as super incompetent and none threatening.
If you look at Empire Strikes back, at the end Han is captured and Luke just learned the most horrifying revelation. We wanted to see how these things would be resolved.
Last Jedi doesn't leave any questions unanswered. If you enjoyed them "subverting" all those questions then that's good that you had fun, but it might have been nice if it had posed a few new questions!
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 19:00:10 GMT
Though I must admit, Rey slow motion jumping over a tie fighter while a big horn sound plays managed to be more embarassing than even my low expectations.
The whole opening of that trailer was shot rally strangely. The way it went close on her face and then panned down felt like it was a comedy shot. Like something funny was going to be revealed. It was really strange.
And why is Rey still wearing the same fucking clothes?
|
|
|
Post by wordweaver3 on Apr 13, 2019 20:20:21 GMT
She's wearing the same clothes cuz it's still the same day.
When Rey turns to get into a running stance I thought for sure she was about to break out into a dance. It kept feeling like a joke.
So what it looks like they're doing is they're gonna retroactively make Rey a Skywalker. Because JJ still doesn't know what the fuck he's doing or the studio thinks that's what the audience wants. So basically...
I guess they can't really fix anything at this point anyway, just pile on the bad with more bad. So now the question is whether Rey is Luke's daughter or Leia's. Which either way doesn't make anything weird about Rey and Kylo's force finger touching sex. I guess JJ figures incest is part of Star Wars.
Then they have Kylo fixing his helmet. Cuz he totally would have kept all the pieces after leaving them in an elevator. That's so on the nose that I half expect they'll just sew Snoke's body back together and prop his ass up in the throne. Sorta like what Anthony Perkins did with his mother.
I guess they'll find Sheeeeeev in the remains of the death star. He'll be living as a hermit and pulling the strings. Maybe he used the force to create Rey the same way he created Vader. Rey is probably a clone of Luke force impregnated into some rando.
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 20:51:20 GMT
Maybe SHEEEEEEV will be an evil red force ghost?
The comedy vibe was so strange in that trailer, I was wondering if it was just me at first but others keep reporting that reaction.
When it first started I wasnt sure if it was a joke, but then I saw new footage so I thought real, but the way it was shot was jokey...it was so confusing!
I seriously said outloud jokingly "Oh Rey is so powerful she will fight a Tie fighter with her sword" And then she totally does.
Literally too dumb to make fun of.
|
|
|
Post by wordweaver3 on Apr 13, 2019 21:10:57 GMT
Yes, Sheeeeve will be an evil red force ghost and blue force ghost Yoda will show up.
"Ah, we meet again, Master Yoda."
"Defeat me this time, you will not."
Force lightning and ghost flips follow.
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 21:57:48 GMT
I am so sick of the fucking falcon. I hope it crashes into a rock and blows up.
I would cheer if that happens. They've done big reveals on that stupid thing REPEATEDLY at this point. They are actively making the ship less cool. In Last Jedi it became so powerful it can destroy entire waves of tie fighters. It honestly seems strange they ran away from ties in the original films. Just mow them all down with your super ship.
And seeing Landon incredibly old and frail isn't awesome, its sad. The actor can barely walk these days. I don't want to see that.
Does rise of skywalker refer to bringing Carie Fisher back from the dead to promote the movie? Cause that was fucking morbid.
|
|
|
Post by StyxD on Apr 13, 2019 22:02:28 GMT
Well, I might think of two things that could be used as hooks from the second movie. - Have Kylo do something completely new and interesting as a new Emperor. Snoke was a Sheev knockoff from the word go, but Kylo could shake things up. At the simplest, just make him go full nazi on screen, turn the Empire into a hellhole like in WH40K or something. You could mine this situation for current political commentary, really drive down the type of person I though Kylo was meant to represent in the first movie. - Have Rey break with the Jedi tradition and come up with some new hippie way of utilizing Force that doesn't result in unending wars. Snoke kind of confirmed the speculative canon that so long as Light Side users continue to exist, the universe will keep popping out endless iterations of Sith to fight them. It's super easy to make it so Ray needs to reinvent using the Force, and tie it with the previous movie's apparent message of letting the past die. Fans would hate that, but fans also hated the Jedi Order all along, so what's the difference? As someone said, there's no ethical Force consumption under Jedi-dualism, so we should stop watching these movies, play KotOR 2 and support Kreia in ending this nonsense before Ray has the chance to do a much less compelling version of that story. The whole opening of that trailer was shot rally strangely. The way it went close on her face and then panned down felt like it was a comedy shot. Like something funny was going to be revealed. It was really strange. Yeah, I gotta agree. I had no idea why Rey was standing with her back turned to the incoming speeder, but then she turned halfway to look at it, as if she wanted to say "Omae wa mou shindeiru" to it… And why is Rey still wearing the same fucking clothes? Look, what would be the point of making it hard for the toy manufacturers? I seriously said outloud jokingly "Oh Rey is so powerful she will fight a Tie fighter with her sword" And then she totally does. I thought it's canon to all the many iterations of Star Wars that Force users can do basically whatever the hell they want, so why not slice the TIE Fighter in half? But at least Lando is happy. Do you think they're going to make a reference to him finally reuniting with his robot lover AI in Millenium Falcon? Also, I think you're prematurely assuming that Rey will be the eponymous Skywalker. I bet it'll be the kid with the broom from the last movie. It's going to be his Rise.
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 22:07:12 GMT
JJ is mr Safe option. His last film was as safe as it could possibly be. So I expect nothing wierd or exciting in this one. Things like Rey turns evil, Rey and Kylo join forces to create something new etc etc will not happen, I just can't see it.
|
|
|
Post by wordweaver3 on Apr 13, 2019 22:17:27 GMT
Destroy the Falcon?
Yeah, JJ isn't the guy to shake things up. The movie is going to be a very boring, straightforward retelling of RotJ. Right down to Kylo redeeming himself at the end of the movie. Probably by throwing Sheev down a hole. Then he can say something like "I have finished what my grandfather started" and die.
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 22:21:43 GMT
Hahah Harrison gives zero fucks about this star wars shit.
Oh christ, that ending you just described sounds horribly plausible. Urgh.
What the point of any of this shit? Its not even a story anymore.
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 13, 2019 22:25:35 GMT
Look, if we must sell out horribly and produce embarrassing garbage... Let's at least do it with style.
|
|
|
Post by wordweaver3 on Apr 19, 2019 20:16:20 GMT
Someone needs to re-edit that and put this right at the end.
|
|
|
Post by wordweaver3 on Apr 20, 2019 6:32:20 GMT
Because this guy deserves more views than he gets.
|
|
|
Post by Harkovast on Apr 20, 2019 17:07:15 GMT
Alright so this might be a spoiler or it might be horse shit, but if you care that the plot might be spoiled don't read what I'm going to say next.
This leak is from a supposedly reliable source that has been right before. Could still be nonsense, but if its true I'm about to ruin the movie. And by ruin I mean warn you about how bad it is.
Right so apparently the plot will involve the first order ruling the galaxy and Rey claims there is a secret weapon that can stop them that they have to go looking for. We don't know what the secret weapon is but it turns out its a bit of the original death star that has a transmitted that lets them tell everyone the story of Luke Skywalker and that inspires the galaxy to rise up against the first order (I guess they leave out the sad hobo who trained kylo wren and died from straining at the force too hard...)
Might not be true, but if it is I think i just did you all a favour by giving you fair warning.
|
|
|
Post by TempestFennac on Apr 20, 2019 17:11:52 GMT
I appreciate the warning thanks (given how much TLJ sucked I really didn't have interest in seeing episode 9 anyway).
|
|