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Post by Canuovea on Jan 20, 2015 17:50:43 GMT
The Thief and the Cobbler was finished.
They released it as a rather meh version where they apparently added and changed a bunch of crap. Unfortunately I can't watch that video, but it sounds like it is of the better version that I've never seen.
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 20, 2015 20:39:25 GMT
Why does the queen have 6 toes?
Why did she have to follow the thread through the goblin kingdom to get out? Was it just to find out about the queen's toes?
Why did the kid tackle the guards on his way to warn the king?
Why is any of this shit happening?
Why can't I get through this movie?
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 20, 2015 20:44:34 GMT
Why do they keep reusing audio? Did the guy voicing the cat only have time for one take?
Why is the help getting sloshed for no reason?
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 20, 2015 20:48:24 GMT
Why did he take the sword and not the mace to fight the goblins who's only weakness is getting their feet smashed?
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 20, 2015 20:50:08 GMT
For that matter, why do creatures that have heads as hard as stone and feet as soft as clay wear helmets instead of boots?
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 20, 2015 20:54:43 GMT
Um...
Was that goblin licking her tits?
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 20, 2015 21:12:22 GMT
Will water flow uphill? Is that how it works?
Sooo let me take a stab at the plot. The goblins built a dam to store water in order to flood the mines and get rid of the "sun people", but they also want to take over the surface and they can do this by marrying a 10 year old girl to a pedophile?
Did I get that right?
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Post by Canuovea on Jan 20, 2015 21:14:08 GMT
Somehow I forgot about that part.
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Post by Harkovast on Jan 21, 2015 0:02:44 GMT
We will get back to thief and the cobbler...
There was some thing when Froglips kept talking about turning people into Goblins by keeping them under ground. He mentioned it a couple of times as a possibility but that never seemed to go anywhere.
Just before the bit with goblin licking the fat woman (?!?) when the view pans across the kitchen, one guard appears to have his hands on the wall, waiting for a goblin to spank him with a club. Make of this what you will.
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 21, 2015 1:04:25 GMT
Yeah, I saw that guy just standing there with his hands on the wall and his legs spread like he was eagerly awaiting punishment. Made me scratch my head a bit.
Not as much as the tit licking, but it was weird.
An if being underground turned you into a goblin, how come none of the miners were showing goblin traits?
Also, when the miners built their own dam to keep out the water they can be seen trying to hold up the dam. Do they really think that it would make a difference at all? A gazillion tons of water is gonna come through no matter what if your dam is shit.
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 21, 2015 1:09:30 GMT
Plus the princess's big moment in the film was to suggest to her father that they double the guard. That's it, that's all she does. That's her big magic that her grandmother was trying to get out of her.
And she still has to get rescued at the end of the movie.
I kept expecting she would find her own courage and defeat Froglips on her own, but she doesn't.
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 21, 2015 1:35:56 GMT
The way the movie started, with the King giving exposition about leaving her at the castle, I thought what would happen was the goblins decided to take that opportunity to attack the castle. What with the King away and everything. And the "magic" that her grandmother was trying to teach her about was leadership. I figured eventually she'd have to lead her people in a battle against the goblins. Make some hard decisions and learn to live with the consequences.
But then her father came back halfway through the movie.
I know this is based on a book, but I never read the book. Does anybody know if this is true to the book (doubtful) or if this is a steaming pile of shit with the same name?
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 21, 2015 1:45:38 GMT
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Post by wordweaver3 on Jan 21, 2015 2:16:14 GMT
As far as The Cobbler and the Thief/Thief and the Cobbler/Cobbler and the Princess/Arabian Knights, which version are we watching?
The Miramax version or the Re-cobbled version?
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Post by Canuovea on Jan 21, 2015 2:43:26 GMT
Keep in mind that Princess and the Goblins was pre-Tolkien by a considerable margin. I mean, 1872...
Two things to take out of that, one: Important female character doing stuff? Huh, no way.
Two: If not for Tolkien, this might have been the future of the fantasy genre! Well... not quite, there would always be some of that other literature. But seriously.
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