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Post by Canuovea on May 27, 2017 19:54:50 GMT
Warhammer Fantasy Battles was riddled with problems.
Just putting models onto trays and calling them "formations" didn't actually work. There was very little actual variety to the formations while in real life variety was considerable. Romans fought in a variety of formations, and were often more spaced out than the Greek Phalanxes were. Nevermind that Orcs were packed into a formation just like anyone else in WHFBs, and it made little sense given their flavour. Only Bretonnia had a separate formation for their cavalry as well.
I have tested various formations in Age of Sigmar. Staggered lines, vanguard, and so forth, and they can actually have an effect on the outcome of a fight. I'd hazard that formations and the importance of positioning are actually more realistic in Age of Sigmar than in WHFB... if only because weapons have ranges now. Its more 40K scale now, but without the fucking titans and huge tanks.
Speaking of which, 40K is getting a new release soon. Preorders start on June 2nd. Now there are "Primaris Marines" that are just better Space Marines with better stuff. But the rules changes sound good.
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Post by Canuovea on Aug 21, 2017 5:44:42 GMT
Hmm. That's not bad. From a new set that is being released.
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Post by Horsie on Aug 22, 2017 0:30:32 GMT
That big thing protruding from her armour behind her head seems like it'd be a liability...
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Post by Harkovast on Aug 22, 2017 13:09:01 GMT
It could get in the way when shes fighting a giant cartoon snail.
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Post by Horsie on Aug 22, 2017 13:17:21 GMT
Snails are clearly too damned fast if you don't chain an anchor to their shell to slow them down.
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Post by Harkovast on Aug 22, 2017 14:45:50 GMT
But you have to balance it out, cause the snail is very unmotivated, so you have to put a demon on a pole infront of its face like a carrot on a stick to make it go forward. I assume driving the snail involves a complex system of anchoring/demon on a pole operation in order to achieve perfect nail velocity.
Also the cartoon bone the driver is chewing makes me chuckle. I dont know if that is also essential to proper snail operation, but I am going to assume so.
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Post by Horsie on Aug 22, 2017 18:24:52 GMT
Probably, much like the Mario-style Piranha Plant growing in a pot next to the tree on the snail's back. So this thing is used for war, right? I mean, everything in Warhammer is used for war, so this thing is clearly used in some capacity by a warring party. But how? Does the lore explain how this thing is in any way useful?
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Post by Harkovast on Aug 22, 2017 18:59:55 GMT
Well sometimes you need to advance very slowly against the enemy at a very specific snail speed. And also sometimes there are plumbers so you need a special plant for that. I know it LOOKS like he would be better just walking, as he has longer legs than his mount. Or a horse would be a better steed, but that's because we don't understand tactics well enough. I wonder if we will get any more monsters based on sponge bob square pants characters? Okay, on the plus side, the way the green demon on top is posed is nice. He's well modelled and looks quite natural in his posture.
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Post by Canuovea on Aug 23, 2017 1:56:32 GMT
Papa Nurgle is strangely chill sometimes, so therefore some of his daemons are too. This snail riding bloke is actually apparently more along the lines as Nurgle's plague gardener. So the Snail is probably less a warsnail and more a... snail?
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Post by Horsie on Aug 23, 2017 2:25:09 GMT
If the guy riding it is a gardener, then I guess the snail is some sort of tiller? That would explain the thing dragging behind it, I guess.
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Post by Harkovast on Aug 23, 2017 22:50:56 GMT
I feel like the people making this are taking things a little too literally. Nurgle is described as tending his garden, but its meant to be a realm of filth and everything that grows there is horrible and mutated and toxic etc. The idea that its an actual garden...with a gardener...one a loveable snail....well its not the direction I would have taken things.
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Post by Horsie on Aug 23, 2017 23:03:04 GMT
But he can't have topiary without a good gardener, and I bet the other Chaos Gods would laugh behind his back if his garden wasn't aesthetically pleasing. Having looked at some of the lore (at least the 40k stuff)... they do get a little verbose, don't they? I know you're supposed to paint a picture with your words, not only to help people imagine what you're describing but to set the tone as well, so my interpretation of the Dark Eldar is a bunch of asshole wine snobs. Except their wine of choice is suffering. Do they bottle that stuff and store it in cellars?
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Post by Harkovast on Aug 23, 2017 23:43:08 GMT
A big problem I have with Age of Sigmar lore is that its all full of names and factions and palces in the background that got destroyed or conquoered to make the sides seem tough, but you know they are just names made up on a page that will never get models or get fleshed out. Anyone can write background like that. Look, I will do it right now.
"When the Bloodlord and his legions of blood attacked the Mountain of celestial jade, they were opposed by the million strong legion of the golden guardians, whose crystal cannons had destroyed any enemy that had attacked them before. However, the rage of the bloodlord was so great that his legions easily over ran the golden guardians, slicing off the head of their crown prince as he cowered in terror."
What does any of that mean? I have no fucking clue. LOok, I will do it again.
"The Aqua-domes of Zalagar, within the sea of burning glass were impervious to normal attack, but the Bloodlord was no normal warrior. He sacrificed ten thousand slaves to open a portal that transported his troops direclty into the greatest dome. The sea knights that defended the dome were thought to be fearless, but even their courage broke in the face of the Bloodlords maddened legions. The axes of the blood warriors carve thousands of skulls, tillthe churning shards of the ocean of burning glass were stained permanently red from the endless tide of gore."
Now what the fuck was going on in any of those little stories? I dont know and i wrote it. But that is what half the background reads like.
The funniest one I foudn was when Achaon (the big bad of the setting) attacked some coral place and infected it with plagues that made it all go black and die. The monks there summon the deep guard who are meant to be immune to all disease, but byu the time the deep guard arrive, archaons plagues are so strong they are all stumbling around with their eyes swelled up and weeping puss and being all delerious so they all get killed easily. Now keep in mind, the deep guard have NEVER featured before and all die in that story. Literally they are introduced, declared to have an amazing power, then that power fails immediately and htey all die. Now I dunno about you, but I didnt read that story and think "wow, achaon is hot shit! his plague powers are awesome!" I read that and thought "wow, the deep guard sure did suck balls. They had ONE claim to fame and they couldnt even do that properly."
Its like when a top billed wrestler beats up some jobber. Seeing the Rock batter the Brooklyn Brawler doesn't make the Rock seem tougher, because we know the other guy is just there to take a beating and go down.
Also the references to millions is something they do as well. The writers have no sense of scale or time. These seemingly medieval armies muster millions of soldiers and some how the forces of chaos can keep having more soldiers, evne though its not clear where they come from or how they support all this or even if they have any women they dont eat. All time scales are thousnads of years, even thoug this kinda fucks things up as it makes anything being the same as in the old setting seem goofy as the old setting got destoryed, a new one was made nad lasted thousands of years...then THAT got destroyed and now thousands of years later the good guys are fighting to get it back. And the strangest part? The humans still, after all that....dress like late medieval germans. What are the odds?
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Post by Harkovast on Aug 23, 2017 23:57:58 GMT
Archaon in action (this is real age of sigmar lore, not more shit I invented off the top of my head)-
"By the light of the Sickle-thirst Moons, Archaon scourged the Yorndish Kingdoms and their so-called Indomitable Bloodline in the name of Khorne. A thousand howling Bloodletters watched as Archaon demonstrated his savagery, claiming the heads of all three hundred members of the Yorndish royal line in a night of wanton slaughter. By the time the moons set on the Yorndish palace, Archaon stood knee-deep in the tide of blood that flowed from its shattered gates, and a line of kings and queens that had endured for thousands of years was mercilessly eradicated.
Archaon brought the seven plagues of Nurgle to Shantor Isle and its protectors, the reputedly immortal Deepguard. Following the skaven of Clan Pestilens through holes gnawed in reality, his horde of daemons, infected mortals and ratmen spilled out into the island kingdom. The Everchosen led his rancid legions through the Coral-temples of Shantor, turning their halls black with decay. As they were cut down, the desperate Shantorian priests called upon their guardians, who were famed for their immunity to poison and disease. The Everchosen stood high in Nurgle’s favour, however, and when at last the Shantorian Deepguard staggered out to face Archaon’s armies, their joints were already swollen with fluid and their eyes weeped pus.
When the three-souled serpent god Y'ulae constructed the Star Crucible, Archaon forged an alliance between the Tzeentchian Sorcerers of Zyr and a cabal of Slaaneshi Spell-sirens, combining their powers to steal the celestial artefact. With a body made of light and fire, no blade nor hex could touch Y'ulae, and the magic hurled against it was as wind passing through the branches of a tree. Goading the creature into battle, the Everchosen used Y'ulae’s monstrous arrogance against it, sacrificing scores of screaming witches and sorcerers to its wrath. As his minions perished, Archaon snatched their souls from the air and used them to weave a sorcerous cage of prismatic mirrors around the beast. Blazing bright in its rage, Y'ulae’s body exploded in a thousand brilliant hues as the prisms channelled and dissipated its incorporeal form. As the creature’s dying wails faded away, Archaon claimed the Star Crucible for his own dark ends."
Some words there that were made up for that description and never mentioned again- Sickle-thirst moons Yorndish Kingdoms Indomitable bloodline (they lasted a thousand years...or from teh beginning of that paragraph depending on how you look at it) Shator Isle Deepguard Coral temples of shantor The three souled Serpent god y'ulae (glad hes dead, thats hard to say) Sorverous cage of prismatic mirrors made from souls(I have no idea what that even means!) Star Cruicible.
I have no idea what any of these things are, no one does. They don't mean anything anymore than the shit I wrote about the Bloodlords adventures did. I guess I am meant to be impressed that achoan did all that stupid shit? This is just bad story telling.
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Post by Canuovea on Aug 24, 2017 0:32:53 GMT
It is not necessarily bad storytelling as it has a point. It makes it clear that the Old World of Fantasy Warhammer has been gone for a loooooong time, it shows that there are many lands and places that had sprung up, it shows that Chaos and Archaon have once more been actually doing something while Sigmar sat around with his thumbs up his ass trying to figure out what to do about it all. It doesn't make Archaon look cool, not really, and if that was the point then it is bad storytelling. But I figure that it is more there to show that Chaos actually has won. What the good guys wanted to have happened is done and over. Chaos is now the dominant power that needs to be overthrown. Previously it was the forces of Order who were under assault. Not any more.
You didn't buy the AoS Archaon/Chaos book thing, did you?
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