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Post by Harkovast on Feb 21, 2019 20:09:08 GMT
Well its just the guy is literally negging him at the start. I mean everything Bruce does seems like something someone does in a romantic relationship that's abusive, not something you just do with a stranger. He keeps humiliating them and then threatening to leave and making them crave his approval and stuff.
I mean maybe I'm wrong, its just the story seemed odd to me. A lot of the others were more like "one time he did something shitty as gm" but the first one was super involved like it was this whole obsessive relationship. It seemed like someone doign the behaviours of a mistreated lover.
Wordweaver I have seen people who play together who hate each other before. I remember two guys who were (in different ways) the dorkiest, most irritating pair imaginable. They constantly bad mouthed each other and bickered over everything, but you got the impression they were the only ones who could put up with each other. Maybe I'm pissing all of you off but this is the only place you can go to get your harkovast-fix? Bwahaha! No escape for you my pretties!
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Post by StyxD on Feb 21, 2019 20:37:26 GMT
Well its just the guy is literally negging him at the start. I mean everything Bruce does seems like something someone does in a romantic relationship that's abusive, not something you just do with a stranger. He keeps humiliating them and then threatening to leave and making them crave his approval and stuff. Well, it's like you almost come to see what I see in this, but fall back on stereotyping cliches in the last moment. I can't say I'm not disappointed somewhat. Maybe I'm pissing all of you off but this is the only place you can go to get your harkovast-fix? Bwahaha! No escape for you my pretties! Well, we can start up a schism of the church of Harkology with Canuovea as the high priest. He has seen the game and knarl and lel and everything.
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Post by Harkovast on Feb 22, 2019 0:34:38 GMT
StyxD I disappoint you so regularly that its losing all meaning. Am I truly disappointing or do you just have overly high expectations of some dork drawing furry comics?
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Post by Harkovast on Feb 22, 2019 0:47:09 GMT
Now even I'm disappointed in me.
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Post by StyxD on Feb 25, 2019 0:54:26 GMT
StyxD I disappoint you so regularly that its losing all meaning. Am I truly disappointing or do you just have overly high expectations of some dork drawing furry comics? Well, in this context you're a GM rather than comic creator, and I know you're very experienced! Okay, my posts here have been irking me. I kind of vaguely explained what bothers me with your reasoning because I kinda felt I shouldn't bring this discussion into a thread about jolly RPGs. But after reading on another site an approximately one million comments stating "guy despises women and describes them as disgusting monsters; actually closet gay/asexual, amirite bros?" I decided what the hell, might as well sweep this up. So, two things. One, there seems to be a really rotten tendency for normative people to assume that any non-normative trait is the reason for all the misery in non-normative people's lives. Now I don't know if that's what you meant with this post, but it certainly seems that way, with homosexual crush being the instant explanation for why the post's author was abused. And I mean, this is a real problem, I myself don't really reveal my own asexuality to most people who know me, because I know then my whole life would be judged by this lens with "see, this sexual orientation nonsense is making you unhappy, so just try to live like a normal person" as the result. So please, don't do this. Two, this is more of personal experience, but I really despise when I explain something and the other person disbelieves my own account to concoct their own theory based on their limited knowledge, just because it seems more plausible with whatever life experience they had. Now, none of this here concerns me directly, but I guess I had a strong empathic response to seeing you ignoring what the author stated about his relationship to Bruce in favor of the more "juicy" story of purported secret romance. I mean, I would be fucking livid if someone did it with a personal story I shared. I suppose I always consider this could happen. So please don't do that too. There we go. More identity politics. Sheesh, sorry, Hark! But I really wanted to somehow erase that shitty passive-aggressive remark I ended the discussion with, because I wanted to chastise you without actually telling you what I took issue with.
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Post by Canuovea on Feb 25, 2019 1:22:10 GMT
That was well put, StyxD.
I had been thinking something similar, but not quite as well organized in my head. Of course, you've had to actually worry about that happening to you, whereas I mostly haven't.
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Post by Harkovast on Feb 25, 2019 1:32:58 GMT
The guy said he was bisexual in the story and he's behaving like hes in an abusive romantic relationship. I didn't just invent that he might be attracted to the guy, I based it on how he described himself.
I found the authors account of their behaviour very strange for the situation but then I noticed it resembled another pattern of behaviour i had seen before so I said it might be that. I don't think that's super controversial. I might be wrong, that's just what it looked like. If he said he was straight I would be asking "why were you acting like Bruce was your abusive girl friend?" I didn't even say it as a criticism, I just wondered if that would explain the authors strange behaviour. That's not me saying he deserved it or anything. In fact it makes him more sympathetic I as I can understand why he was behaving in this odd way. Otherwise the story makes him and Bruce both seems equally strange to me (though Bruce is the only one whose strange in a way that makes them an asshole.)
If we are going to get into what we should believe about the story...its some guys account on the internet. I dont know what of it is true or how biased it is. Bruce might give a very different account. Maybe he has a version where the GM is the weirdo, obsessed with Bruce and endlessly begging him to play. I can't have strong opinions when Ive only heard one version of events from one side and have no more information to go on.
It seems wrong to get very invested in a story someone posted online about a guy they once new. I don't know any of these people and the idea that I have to have some special respect for a random story is odd to me. If you told me something about you I would act differently because I know you and I'm talking to you directly. This is just me saying my reaction to a random story about people I don't know that I can't verify in any way. I don't have a strong emotional reaction to it and when I talk about it, its a pretty abstract thing to me. If you feel more affinity with the story teller then I can see why you might be upset at my indifference so I'm sorry if I annoyed you, that wasn't my intention.
Unfortunately when you put things out there online, you can't guarantee what reaction you will get.
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Post by TempestFennac on Feb 25, 2019 5:56:49 GMT
Regarding Hark's earlier comment about people acting as if they have to play, I'm perfectly willing to quit games if things aren't working out for whatever reason but things which happen in them tend to bother me more than they should due to how much I like pretending to be other people being as real life sucks (this probably isn't a common reason for the issue which was discussed though).
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Post by StyxD on Feb 25, 2019 8:43:38 GMT
I didn't really feel any special affinity for the poster before I read your reaction.
Look, the story doesn't really matter at this point (which is why I was hesitant to post my last comment, since it's off topic, really), maybe it happened exactly like this, maybe it did not.
What I'm asking is that you don't speculate that being queer is itself the reason for some problem a queer person is describing (and hyper-focusing on events that could only happen because the person is queer counts).
I'm not saying this could never happen, and it's okay if you disbelieve the story as written, but this here is just pure speculation anyway. For the sake of real queer people, please don't speculate like this.
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Post by Harkovast on Feb 25, 2019 18:48:00 GMT
I wasn't judging queer people! I was wondering if he had a romantic attraction because he was acting like he had one!
It wasn't a value judgement, I just wondered if that was the cause because that's what it looked like to me.
I'm just not getting why that's bad.
If it was a man and a woman and I said "I think he fancied her" would that be insulting straight people? Romantic attraction is a huge motivator for people, and is a major cause of people doing stupid stuff.
This Bruce guy seems brash and confident, which is attractive to a lot of people.
If I came across I was being down on the guy for being bisexual I apologise for that as that wasn't what I was meaning to say. I think you guys know me well enough to know I wouldn't want to have a go at anyone for their sexual preferences.
I've been in a romantic relationship that became abusive over time, so I don't think less of anyone in that situation. (Don't worry, it was ages ago and it wasn't anything that bad.) I'm sympathetic to someone letting their heart lead their head. I don't see any stigma with that.
Its just that letting someone walk all over you like that makes more sense to mean when its the object of their romantic affection rather than a random person playing a roleplaying game.
Romantic attraction gets people into trouble sometimes, be they queer or otherwise.
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Post by StyxD on Feb 25, 2019 20:02:17 GMT
If it was a man and a woman and I said "I think he fancied her" would that be insulting straight people? You know, I'm actually very curious whether you'd jump to that same conclusion if the GM was a straight girl. But now we'll never know. I know this wasn't a value judgment and that you don't think any less of sexual minorities. But my request still kinda stands. I'll try to explain more in PMs if you want, I don't wanna monopolize this thread for another boring political chat…
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Post by Harkovast on Feb 25, 2019 20:16:22 GMT
Nah, its probably better not to drag things out.
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